My Benjamin...

My little Benjamin is something else. Don't get me wrong, I love each one of my kids with every bit of myself, but there's something about him that gets me in a way the others don't. It's the hardest thing to explain. Like last night, Bird took Scott and Ben to lay down and go to sleep. So they are all in my bed (so not typical, trust me, I hate it) anyway, all in my bed as I'm straightening up the house and I hear Ben start laughing. If it had been Scott laughing I probably would have gone in there and pitched a fit about them not going to sleep, but Ben... no. I just started laughing too. Then he started growling or "revving his motor" (that's kind of his thing) and all I could do was laugh more. It's so obvious that I play favorites with him, I won't deny it, and I do feel badly, but I just can't help it. The way I like to describe it is that "he tugs at my heartstrings." My two other boys definitely have just as many moments of complete and utter cuteness as Ben does, but his are different. It's almost like I cherish his moments more because the number will be limited. Oh boy... I think I need to explain that. When I was pregnant with Ben I was very uneasy about his health. I always felt like something was going to go wrong at any second. At first I thought that it was just because he was my second and I had a better idea of what to expect, but then Bird had the same feelings and after I got pregnant with our third, I realized I didn't have the same reservations as with Ben. We've had a few concerns with him and a couple of scares, but for the most part he's been fine so far, although, there have been more health issues with him than the others. The worry is still there. Well, anyway, there's just something about my Benjamin that gets me. He tugs at my heartstrings.