View from the Side

I had my first OB visit today. Eveything went well. There was some trouble finding Baby's heart beat which is pretty normal because Baby's not very big yet, but the doctor found it in the end. And let me tell you it was loud! The doctor was surprised he couldn't find it right away. Apparently he wasn't looking in the right spot because Baby likes the view from the side, not the top. So anyway, Baby's heart beat is super loud, super strong, and much higher than the boys ever were. Baby is running a steady 175! That makes me happy, very happy, because out of all the things I've read or heard, girl heart rates seem to be faster than boys. HOORAY! But obviously this is not a sure sex determination by any means, it just adds to my *hope. And if Baby turns out to be a boy... my poor hope will be shattered. Not that I won't be happy with another boy, no, no, it's not that at all, it's just that I have had this hope since I was a little girl and since this is my last baby, well, the hope will be gone. Gone. And just to clarify, I will love a boy just as much as my others, but I just might love a girl more. Go ahead, call me what you will. Sometimes the truth just isn't nice.


*The hope I speak of is my hope for a girl. The hope for cute, frilly dress, tights, and bows, shoe fetishes, pinks and purples, butterflies and flowers, Barbies and baby dolls, princess stories, books, and movies, playing dress up and house, and the love of fairy tales. The hope for a daddy's girl just like me and the hope for a relationship as close as mine and my mom's. The hope for a daughter... and a friend. This is the hope I speak of and dream of daily. Granted I may not get everything I hope for wrapped up in a cute little package because she's much more likely to be a major TomBoy instead of the frilly little cute girl I imagine, but either way she would be here and she would be mine...

That's really what my hope is about.